Dont think that way saying "what if that happened?" Because it DIDNT happened and you are here now! Even though it could have happened, it didnt, i know it scary and even scarier for womans, mainly kids, my Sister already went through some of those many stuff and even though i just heard she saying, i still know its scary, i do recomend you telling someone even if you really cant, some times it can grow into something worse, remember, you are never alone, i'd hug you through the screen rn, i love you but please take care of yourself ❤️🫂