Please try to remember something that makes you happy, it could be a memory, a joke, just something you like and remember that there are times you are happy and sad. I love your art, decks and just like you in general.

(Trigger warning) I understand what you're struggling about. I Used to Hate myself, hurt myself with tiny mistakes and even wish my own death. I already left this phase but seeing this made me very concerned about you. If you are struggling with any personal experience that triggered you to this, you can talk to me. I'm sorry for you're passing through. Remember always there's people that love and need you. I hope that I helped. :)