Uhhh sorry if you dont liek this castle

So, uhm, sometimes you have those intrusive thoughts about killing yourself, right? Well, that's happened to me. Just now, I was at a market, just minding my own business. I'd found a wooden stick and brought it with me. I told my dad, "I'm going to cut my wrists," and he jokingly said, "You're crazy." I'd said it jokingly too. But then, I was running the stick along my wrist, like I wanted to cut myself. I've had those suicidal thoughts before, you know. And once, I even grabbed a cutter and did the same thing to my wrist. I didn't hurt myself or anything, but sometimes I'm disgusted with myself. I already told my friend who goes to Mass about these problems. She understands me and everything, but she told me not to do it because it's a sin. And yes, I stopped doing it, but I can't. I have these thoughts of hurting myself and all that. And also, whenever I think about an animation, my mind is filled with me hurting myself or committing suicide, and I want to stop thinking about it. I

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