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i declare pawn j7. the 3rd one to the left 

White pawns walk on heads and the nuke leaves a crater 

 can i end it yet?
if yes, SWOON the black king.
if no, literally hexagonalize the board

lastly rook somehow goes diagonally and gets 1 off the king

Black hole goes up 2 squares and grows to 5×5

card-CWaX

Every comment picks what happens next legal or not (Yes E-VER-Y COMMENT)